Q & A: Boundaries for caregivers, lightworkers, coaches, counselors and other helper-healers
Healers are allowed to rest, replenish, and say no.
This one’s a little different. It came through the comments section on my other blog a few years ago in response to the post, What a Lightworker Can and Cannot do about Darkness. While I imagine (and I hope) the questioner and her husband have worked things out, I do think their question touches on things you may be interested in.
I’ve edited the response that I gave them at the time.
If the questioner is reading this, I’d love to hear how things are going now.
Q: Amy, my question is a little different. I and my newly married husband have, through a series of events, come to know that we are both beacons if light and the spirits (in the thousands) come to us to cross into the light.
As our skills are developing, I am told that I am psychic, a medium, a healer, and an empath. As you can imagine it has been overwhelming for me as it has changed all thoughts of what the world is.
I have learned to ground and protect us, but the newest empathetic feelings are very hard to deal with. Apparently when a crossing happens the negative is left behind and our home became filled with negative energy which shows up on our security cameras as dark splotches.
Is there a way to shut off our lights so that we can have some relaxing time? We try to do 2 crossings a week. Any suggestions would be helpful.
Photo by Sylwia Bartyzel on Unsplash
My A:
Wow. That’s a great deal of responsibility and it sounds as if it’s coming at you all at once from everywhere. I can hear the toll it’s taking on your well-being and I imagine, on your sleep. No healer can work this way. It’s not sustainable.
So, yes - it is possible to modulate all of this and get the sleep and peace of mind that you will need to continue this work.
First up - you need some boundaries. I think you’d also benefit from some training. There’s some fuzziness (and a bit of panic) in your thinking about what’s expected of you. Though it sounds as if your work emerged spontaneously, you don’t have to go it alone. In fact - don’t. I recommend that you read this book: The Last Frontier by Julia Assante - and that you study the basics of mediumship, including grounding, shielding and the ethics and responsibilities of a Light Worker.
In the comments below, I’ve included suggestions about how to establish a time boundary (schedule) and an energetic shield around your home and your bodies.
You also need to understand the Ethics of a LightWorker, in order to protect the agency and well-being of you and your clients.
All of us must rest and replenish - including lightworkers.
When you are resting, the non-physical beings you are facilitating will either wait or find another open channel. You are allowed to stop, allowed to rest and to quit completely.
You are free - and free of obligation.
You are performing a service but should you choose, at any time, to stop and move on to other work, those who need support crossing over will find it.
You can set time limits – and I suggest that you do.
Non-physical beings, who live outside of the limits of time and space and do not need to sleep, must be told the limits of living in a physical body. Give them your schedule, including rest time, sleep time and ‘me’ time. Simply speak or imagine words that clearly express your wish that the crossings take place only during specific times.
You can ask for a gatekeeper
to help modulate the flow of beings you’re supporting. Tell them exactly how many crossings you are willing (and capable) of supporting per day. Enforce this boundary.
You can set a boundary around you and your home.
You may have seen images of witches drawing a circle around themselves. You, too, can place a protective circle around yourself. You are the one who decides what and who gets to cross that boundary. This work is done imaginally (in your mind’s eye and imagination) and has real effects on the energy around you. Here’s one way:
State your intention to enclose your body in a protective sphere/shield.
See the image clearly in your mind and hold it there. Imagine that you are enclosed in the sphere. Then, imagine that you are walking around the image, examining it from every angle until it seems real to you. Breathe light and density into the sphere, setting the intention that nothing and no one can cross the boundary outside of your schedule or without your permission. When you sense that the boundary is set, let the image go and trust that it is real.
You can clear negative energy left behind by others - including non-physical others
There are many ways to do this. The simplest, which I prefer, is this: Blow it away. Do not fight with the negative or dark splotches as your argument with anything only makes it more manifest. Simply claim dominion over your body and the space of your home (as above). Then, take a deep breath and blow - with the intention of clearing the space of all negative, toxic or uninvited energy.
There is nothing inherently scary about darkness. All life begins in darkness. When we understand this, we can dwell quite comfortably in the dark as in the light.