When you notice yourself worrying about what another person is doing or thinking, imagine there is a silky thread of attachment flowing between you - and let it go.
From the archives: A waking meditation you can do any time, anywhere.
We lose so much energy trying to manage what others think, say, or do. But what if you could gently release those invisible threads of attachment—and reclaim your power in the process?
In this short practice, I invite you to notice where your attention flows and offer a soft way to bring it back to yourself. Each time you let go, you return to your own life, your own breath, your own freedom.
When we are concerned with what other people are doing, saying or thinking, we attach our attention to the other people.
These attachments are like strands of delicate spider silk. The more of these silky strands we project onto the people and situations around us, the more entrapped we feel. The less free.
The truth is, we can never control the doing, saying and thinking of other people. We can, however, begin to control our own.
Letting go of needing to know or control what others do, say or think releases us from bondage. When it no longer matters what they do, we can bring our attention back to ourself, to our own life. This gives us access to our own power and energy. We have more time in our day to do, say and think the things we want to.
When we get used to living this way, we do not need other people to change. They can do, say or think what they want and we can respond from freedom.
Try this:
When you notice your attention straying to another person’s behavior or thoughts, imagine you can see a silky thread of attachment flowing between you. That thread is a projection of YOUR attention flowing toward them. Once you see that thread, you can release it.
Here’s how:
Imagine that you are quietly letting your end of the thread fall to the ground between you. See it falling to the ground. See it dissolving into the soil. It’s gone. Notice how this feels. Notice your breath. Your body.
As these threads dissolve, you are setting yourself free.
If they reattach, release them again. Easily. Effortlessly.
Do this each time you ‘attach’ to another person’s behavior or thoughts. Do it all day long. Whenever you feel concerned about what another person is doing, saying or thinking. See the thread and quietly let it go.
Do this quietly, internally.
No need to tell the other person about it.
Sit with each situation that seems to be a problem. Imagine the silky thread.
Imagine letting it go. Notice how much lighter and more free you feel when when you don’t attach your attention to things that are outside of your sphere of influence.
You don’t have to follow every feeling that rises. You don’t have to figure it out or explain it to yourself or to anyone else.
Sometimes, letting feeling move through you is all that feeling needs — let feeling move through you and move out of you.“Don’t merge with it,” suggests the teacher known as Mooji.
“Let thoughts flow by,” says Yoga tradition. “Without grasping onto them.”
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xxoo
Amy
This is a powerful practice. Everyone could benefit from knowing this.
Beautiful Amy and a really great reframe for me. I used to liken it to a tug o' war, which is too much. This is a much more gentle way of letting go. Thank you!