Apr 25, 2021 • 40M

Podcast: She stayed with me

A reading from my post, "Stream of the most profound deep radiant holy love I have ever known". In which I name myself divine.

Amy Oscar
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Musings and Meditations, Readings from my work - published and unpublished
Episode details

A reading of my latest long piece for your drive to work, your evening meditation. A reading for you from me - and from Her.

“She stayed with us - even through she was erased and repressed and beaten out of us, She’s here.”

“Seven years ago, I had my first experience of the living vine - my first encounter with Her. That day, I was meditating, when I felt a kind of tickling around my ankles and calves and I had image and the distinct sensation of a green vine trying to climb my legs. Something green with roots of its own had decided to add itself to me and it was trying to climb my body from the earth up. At that time, I had the impression that the earth itself was reaching for me, was claiming me.

“As this was around the time when my father was dying and my mother was moving into the last part of her life, I wasn’t really paying attention. I was still working full time, writing a weekly column about angels for a women’s mgazine and just about to receive the light that would become The Soul Caller Training. Most of my attention was on that magazine column, though. Trying to put down the kind of disembodied, ungrounded spirituality that the job required. A kind of spirituality lite which never ventured into real trouble, nothing earthy, but kept directing the gaze of our readers upward toward transcendence.

“If I kept my eyes on my paper and did my work, I could avoid the suffering and grief that was all around me. But I do remember that vine and how it felt when it claimed me, like I was being drawn downward into the ground, as I was being drawn into my parents’ suffering and my own grief. She was there, even then.”

You can speed it up if you want. I’m listening back at 1.25 and it’s not too fast. There's a little button in the upper right corner of the audio player. At regular speed, I'm speaking slowly, deliberately, thinking about each word, each phrase as I read it out loud.

Either way, thanks for listening. :)